In that context, I hope this will amuse our readers; I've bolded the pertinent part:
Maybe what was needed was one of these in the kitchen utensil drawer, to assist equally in fine dining and home defense....
Man accused of breaking and entering — for beer
Chicago man allegedly breaks into two apartments looking for a drink and stabs a resident
A Chicago man was charged over the weekend for assaulting one man and stabbing another after breaking into two apartments in search of beer. Hotel event coordinator Tim Snyder, 36, broke into an apartment building around 4 a.m. Saturday, according to the Sun-Times.
Snyder allegedly entered one apartment and headed straight for the fridge.
When he didn’t find any beer, he allegedly punched a man and left, breaking into another unit. In the second apartment, prosecutors said, he struggled with another man, who he allegedly stabbed in the back with a corkscrew.
Residents of the building then subdued Snyder until police arrived.
The victim was taken to an area hospital, where he received 22 stitches.
While in police custody, Snyder allegedly threatened and spit at officers. He now faces two charges of home invasion, aggravated battery and aggravated battery of a police officer.
He has previous convictions for domestic battery and aggravated battery, police said.
After his arrest, Snyder told a police officer, “I’m gonna kill your ass. You can’t lock me up forever,” according to the police report.
He then said, "Want some AIDS?" and spat at the police officer, the report said, according to the newspaper.