|Patrick Butts-Defender of Cheetos|
Basically, Buttsy boils it down to a choice of being either sober or safe. This implies that safety can only be had by carrying a gun. And if one chooses to drink or drug, the safety benefit of carrying a firearm far outweighs being impaired. Let's work with that premise for a bit.
Obviously, safety is very, very important to Patrick Butts. We know this because he's of the belief carrying a gun while impaired is worth the risk. In fact, he's quite willing to accept the risk of possibly harming others while impaired because he strongly believes a gun will keep him safe.
Isn't it odd, though, that someone who dearly reveres his own personal safety looks a beached whale? Seriously, it isn't some crazed attacker that the Butterball need fear--it's his own two meathooks diving into a Cheetos bag.