It always amuses me when you see all of these idiots today that want to carry a gun. The human body is not designed to carry a gun. It hurts no matter where you put it — and trust me, I’ve tried them all. I had to carry a gun. But I certainly don’t have to now — and I don’t. I have a neighbor — a little old man who comes over, he listens to the press that says, ‘You’re all going to die any minute. Now the news, brought to you by Chicken Little,’ you know? So he buys a gun. The guy’s 78. And he shows me this handgun he bought. He says, ‘You know a lot about guns — anything I should do?’ I says, ‘Yeah — do you have a vice in your garage?’ ‘Yes.’ I said, ‘Go put that in the vice and file off that front sight blade.’ ‘Well, why should I do that?’ I said, ‘So when somebody takes it away from you and sticks it up your @#$%, it won’t hurt so bad when they take it out.’ And he just looked at me … he took the gun back to the store. Good choice. You don’t need a gun.
I used to do a lot of public speaking for the police department. I’d say, ‘What’s the position of the department on gun control?’ They’d say, ‘The department doesn’t have a position — we enforce the law as it’s written.’ ‘Would you like to know my personal opinion?’ ‘Absolutely!’ — because it’s always a gun freak that’s asking you the question. So I said, ‘Picture yourself at Mile High [Stadium] in Denver during a Bronco game. You’re on the 50-yard line at halftime. You are surrounded by 74,000 emotional drunks. Behind you on a table are 74,000 guns. Would you give one to everybody there? Or would you try to be selective on who you gave one to?’ And the crowd would laugh, and the guy would sit down. Nobody needs a gun. They all need a brain — but they don’t need a gun. We shouldn’t even let people drive, let alone people have guns. But they have cars, and they drive. But not guns — this society doesn’t need guns. But it’s too late. There are 150 million guns in private hands. I can’t tell you how many times I have investigated a death in a private home caused by a gun that was purchased to protect that same person — who is now dead from that gun, by accident; by suicide or by murder. So how did that purchase work out? Not very well.
And before you make stupid comments--my concealed carry permit expired in 2007.