Unlike the satire of kaveman, though, one wonders if the author of this piece might not be on to something. Exaggerated, for sure, but does it not describe the exact feeling and motivation of many a gun owner? What do you think?
Believe me, I am not a gun person. Oh, sure, I played with cap guns and BB guns when I was a kid, but I never thought I would actually own a real one. But let me tell you, when I first felt the cold steel of this gun against my palm, it made me feel as if I had the strength of 10,000 charging centurions, as if I were capable of moving heaven and earth itself. I just hope I never have to fire the thing.
It is my earnest wish that this beautiful, beautiful gun and the godlike powers it bestows on its owner will stay locked away in a drawer forever, only to be used in the most dire of circumstances.
I will say, though, that this particular firearm is certainly something to behold. It has a mirror-polished stainless-steel finish and a "Python .357" insignia engraved on the chrome barrel that, to be honest, makes me feel invincible, as if the spirit of a warrior prince were flowing through me, urging me to punish all who lie trembling in my path.
Monday, March 1, 2010
The Gun Makes Me Feel like God
In the spirit of kaveman's satire, The Onion published a wonderful article, capturing perfectly the feelings of gun owners. I think when irony and satire are mixed just right, it's difficult to tell where one ends and the other begins.