Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Sarah Palin and Amy Winehouse are Twins

The crack investigative team at mikeb302000 have uncovered this fascinating story. It seems the adorable twins were separated shortly after birth, raised on different continents and only reunited this week. Amy, the younger by two and a half minutes, was watching Fox News as part of her latest rehab treatment program when she recognized her twin on the screen. "It was more of a, like, visceral thing," said the beleaguered pop star. Sarah Palin, at first visibly shaken to learn that her biological mother had given her up for adoption before fleeing to the UK with her twin, rebounded quickly and issued the following statement: "The important thing here is that Amy and I are now reunited, which proves that our mother had international foreign policy experience as well as a pro-life philosophy. My running mate, who is don't forget, the only man in this campaign who ever fought for his country, has welcomed Amy and her entourage to join me and the entire Palin clan on the campaign trail."


  1. WTF, Mike? Somthing this stupid isn't at all like you.

    Were you hacked?

  2. Debunking of Sarah Plain lies and rumours.

    If you want rumours and conjecture, these are much more entertaining:

    The TRUTH about Sarah Palin
    Sarah Palin does not have 5 kids, she actually has 7. Their names are Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, Trig, Chuck Norris, and Jack Bauer.

    Sarah Palin became governor because five children left her with too much spare energy.

    The Russians sold Alaska to America because Sarah Palin would not submit to autocracy.

    Sarah Palin will personally open a homemade can of whoopass on Ahmadinejad, Putin, and Chavez as soon as she's done making mooseburgers for her kids.

    The Arctic Circle runs through Alaska so the Sun can have some relief from Sarah Palin's bright glare.

    Sarah Palin is allowed first dibs on Alaskan wolf pack kills.

    Sarah Palin is so pro-life that she personally hog-tied two reps from Planned Parenthood who came knocking at her door.

    It's not raining in DC. Those are God's tears of joy that McCain picked Sarah Palin.

    Sarah Palin's hotness is the largest single contributor to melting polar ice caps.

    Sarah Palin's presence in the lower 48 means the Arctic ice cap can finally return.

    Sarah Palin fired Jack Bauer because he was too soft in dealing with terrorists.

    Sarah Palin's pageant career ended early so other women could have a chance.

    Sarah Palin's son Track is going to Iraq after the Surge, because a Palin during the Surge would have been unfair.

    Sarah Palin actually has Big Foot in her freezer.

    Sarah Palin gave a speech in Texas after her water broke before flying home to Alaska to give birth. (Actually true)

    Sarah Palin doesn't need a gun to hunt. She has been known to throw a bullet through an adult bull elk.

    Sarah Palin once spilled coffee on Joe Biden & one of his $400 ties from Pink.

    Sarah Palin keeps her hair in a beehive to hide her ninja weaponry.

    A grizzly bear once tried to stare down Sarah Palin. Once.

    Sarah Palin will send Joe Biden a pre-debate cheat sheet. The sheet will have tips on defending against Kung Fu Death Grip.

    Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity's war against the machines. (Terminator reference)

    Three of Sarah Palin's 5 kids came out sideways and she never flinched.

    Global Warming doesn't kill polar bears. Sarah Palin does. Generally with her bare hands.

    Sarah Palin was the original "Deadliest Catch."

    Sarah Palin paid her way through school by hunting for Kodiak Bear pelts with a slingshot.

    Alaska is the 49th state solely because they knew even in 1959 that Sarah Palin never finishes last.

    Chuck Norris wishes he was Sarah Palin trapped in a man's body.

    Sarah Palin got Tom Brady pregnant, and then left him.

    Sarah Palin once won the Iditarod without any dogs. She simply willed the sled to victory.

    Sarah Palin wears half the makeup that John Edwards wears and still looks like twice the woman he does.

    Sarah Palin once guided Santa's sleigh through an Alaskan blizzard with the light from her smile.

    Sarah Palin fishes salmon by convincing them it's in their interest to jump into the boat.


  3. y'know, Mike, that would explain a lot... but not how McCain could possibly be stupid enough to pick somebody like her for a running mate; we'll need a deeper level of conspiracy for that.

  4. It was just to lighten up a bit. We can't talk about guns and capital punishment all the time. Besides, a post like that could catch on and I could get famous, you know how those liberal bloggers are.

  5. "Besides, a post like that could catch on and I could get famous, you know how those liberal bloggers are."

    Whahahahahahah!!! Ok, I thought the origonal post was kinda lame...but that last line made my gut hurt with laughter!

    : ]