Sunday, October 17, 2010

Lighten Up, Jay G.

One of my great pleasures is reading gunloon blogs and accounts of what they'll do when or if something happens. Today's fun is courtesy of Jay G's imagination.

Yeah, you point a gun at my kid and I will shoot you dead, too. That's one of those "shoot to stop but there ain't nothing more stopped than dead" moments right there. Threaten my kid, die on the spot.

Kill this motherf***er tomorrow. If not tonight. Give me the f***ing job, I will drive out to Idaho myself to put a dozen 12 gauge slugs through his worthless body. No, strike that. It would give me the greatest pleasure in the world to beat this piece of sh** to death with my bare f***ing hands.

And f I ever witness some dirty hippie disrespect you, I solemnly promise to punch their f***ing teeth straight down their neck for you.

Jeebus. Who knew customer service was such a jungle?


  1. I particularly liked "The single biggest regret I have in my life is that I've never served; I've never put my life on the line for what I believe in."

    Would he be as aggressive if he had to treat a wounded comrade in combat?

  2. Thanks Jadegold for one of the funniest posts. The movie itself is a riot, but the connection you made to Jay G. and his not uncommon macho-hysteria is fantastic.

  3. Laci: That caught my eye as well but for a different reason.

    He claims his single biggest regret is not having served in the military. Yet, at least until fairly recently, there was nothing stopping him from doing so.

    In the immediate aftermath of 9/11, Jay G. certainly was eligible, age-wise, to serve. He may even be eligible today.

    I cannot count how many chickenhawks I've encountered who profess their undying love for the military but just seem to have some reason why they themselves can't serve.

  4. It was a failure in basic fieldcraft on Jay G.'s part: he was unable to locate the recruiting office.

    Imagine him in combat.

  5. Laci: I really can't imagine many gunloons serve in the military--let alone going into combat.

    Gunloons live in their own fantasy worlds; they seem to believe that if they were in the military, they'd be assigned to lead some Delta Force operation that would make use of their totally awesome gun prowess.

    Reality, of course, is much, much different.

  6. I can see them getting their kit ready for inspection!

  7. Jade, a great many of us do serve. I did (88-92), and was about to go back in in April 2008, when I was in a wreck which ended that plan.
    I know many more firearm-owning vets than I do non-firearm-owning vets.

  8. TN Budd: Actually, I find very few gunloons--like Jay G and Weerd--served. They all make great noises about how wonderful the military is and all, but somehow they couldn't find the wherewithal to actually go and sign up.

    As I've sagely noted, most gunloons live a rich fantasy life.

  9. The older I get, the more I question whether "serving" is something to be proud of at all. I haven't met too many who did it for pure motives of patriotism. And since at least Viet Nam, we've been involved in one immoral war after another. There's not much to be proud of there, in my opinion.

  10. I joined the military because I couldn't find a real job and I wasn't going to be a lawyer.

    I would have gone into law then if I hadn't have been so dim.