Friday, September 20, 2013

The Death of a Gun Control Blogger (satire)



Associated Press reports:

MikeB, well known gun control blogger committed suicide today. His blog, Mikeb302000 has received millions of page-views and is known for being one of the few gun control blogs that accepts comments. He posted a picture of himself on Facebook moments before taking his life. The following suicide note was attached.
I want to apologize to all my supporters, friends, family and everyone in the gun control movement. Our collective failure to achieve even the slightest headway was no problem for me.  Nor was the failure of Congress to pass comprehensive background checks, the recall of heroic State Senators in Colorado, the ridiculous gun bans in Maryland which allowed the gun nuts to stock up before taking effect, the blind concealed carry permit holders in Iowa, none of it really got me down. Even the most recent massacre in the Washington Navy Yard didn’t phase me.
But when I donned The Truth About Guns hat I knew what I had to do. What came crashing into my consciousness was the incredible abuse with which I was treated when I used to post comments there. Some of those comments generated a hundred responses, the major part of which were personal attacks against me. And why? That’s the question that kept me up night after night. In the end I had to stay away, my physical health demanded it. 
Those terrible months came back to me in a way that was both overwhelming and hopeful, in a dark way. I finally had a way out.
I know many of you among the Armed Intelligentsia, when reading this, will want to blame yourselves. Please don’t. It’s not your fault. Thanks to you I feel I’m going to a better place now.
MikeB, whose real name is Michael Bonomo, is survived by three siblings, a wife and two ex-wives, 13 children and 7 grandchildren. He was 60 years old at the time of his death.

26 comments:

  1. That's you? If so, it's good finally to put a face to your name. Now how about getting Dog Gone, Laci, and Jade to do the same?

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    1. What do you mean by "do the same?"

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    2. Is language your first language? What did the preceeding sentence say? They should post pictures of themselves.

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    3. Yes, language is my first language. What's yours?

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    4. I'm guessing Mike was asking if by "do the same" you meant commit suicide. I took “do the same” as post a picture of yourself.

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  2. I'd like to see Greg and TN killed at the scene of a mass shooting because they drew their guns and the police killed them not knowing if they were the shooter, or a helper.

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    1. And here I was thinking that you'd decided to act like a decent human being, given a couple of recent comments from you. But you prove in this one that you're exactly the worthless shit I've concluded you to be.

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    2. Humor? There is humor and then there is sickness.

      Have checked those meds yet Professor Jim?

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    3. Have you checked those gun control methods from the old west Texass? Yes, you are sick, get help. Back to the satire!

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    4. And again we see that Jim is just a troll trying to say inflammatory things to stir up trouble and emotions.

      What a pitiful person you are.

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    5. Just highlighting the lying scum you and the rest of the NRA dudes are.
      Now back to your lying about me

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    6. Yes Jim, read carefully. Don't just gloss over as speed reading isn't your strong suit. You might want to take those meds first tho.

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    7. Texass
      Your shit lies aren't worth reading, so forgive me if I don't speak seriously on a satire post

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    8. S##t lies Professor Jim? Or is it doggone, EN, Jadegold, Steve or another persona that you have decided on to change your personality. Really, your personality disorder is really getting out of hand. Take you meds, seriously. You may well be the one that is responsible for the next mass shooting, as the shooter.

      Go get help Professor Jim, you really need it. Seriously!

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    9. Yes, shit lies, and you are the shit liar.

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    10. Already did, that why you are so hate filled.

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    11. I've seen Jim make rational comments recently, but here he's frothing at the mouth. He really does appear to have some kind of personality disorder.

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    12. Like your stand of anarchy and willingness to accept death, is rational. HA HA HA HA HA HA

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  3. Mike,
    Are you reenacting a scene from "Blazing Saddles"?

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  4. Well, well, well… So you advocate for the outright ban of an item that you own and post pictures of yourself with it on your blog. And no, I’m not talking about handguns, I’m talking about toy guns- to which you say “ban the sonsabitches” (particularly ones that could possibly be construed as real). Toy guns for me, but not for thee, eh?

    (Mike, please take this is as mostly tongue in cheek, but also with a grain of truthiness)

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    1. The grain of truthiness part is whether or not you stopped to ask yourself why progressive Europe still allows these things to be made and sold, as you threw down your three euros.

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  5. Help me out here, folks. What actor does Mikeb look like? I know I've seen a face like that on the screen, large or small.

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